I've had an overwhelming urge to take down my last post and sneakily delete it. I sound like a crazy woman, a little voice tells me! Don't be so unprofessional! Don't write about those days. Keep them quiet. People only want to read the shiny happy stuff!
Real life is not that neat and tidy.
I could have told you about the wonderful time we had at a big old gathering of home educators, and the joy of seeing so many lovely friends in one place, with lots of lovely moments for all the family.
Or the fact that I received an incredible bit of news from a friend that made me cry with joy.
But somehow by evening my thoughts had turned back to dark things and sad things, secrets I am not allowed to tell and sadnesses that I could not heal. Some days we tread a path that sees somehow sees us laughing and crying, in which we feel glad to be alive one minute and wonder how the world can be so twisted the next.
And the other day was one such day.
Things are looking brighter again, with new perspectives, revelations and understandings.
After feeling I had no time for myself, for my own life, for my own worries, I have reclaimed a lot of it just by being clear with people around me, by organising myself better, and by shifting my focus away from thinking about them and focusing on my own family life again.
And you know what?
Things are pretty peachy really.
There's not much wrong in my own world so I should be thankful.
And tommorow we are having some VIP visitors for fun and shennanigans so yippee for us!
Life is pretty sweet all in all and balance is back in the room :-)