I've had an overwhelming urge to take down my last post and sneakily delete it. I sound like a crazy woman, a little voice tells me! Don't be so unprofessional! Don't write about those days. Keep them quiet. People only want to read the shiny happy stuff!
Real life is not that neat and tidy.
I could have told you about the wonderful time we had at a big old gathering of home educators, and the joy of seeing so many lovely friends in one place, with lots of lovely moments for all the family.
Or the fact that I received an incredible bit of news from a friend that made me cry with joy.
But somehow by evening my thoughts had turned back to dark things and sad things, secrets I am not allowed to tell and sadnesses that I could not heal. Some days we tread a path that sees somehow sees us laughing and crying, in which we feel glad to be alive one minute and wonder how the world can be so twisted the next.
And the other day was one such day.
Things are looking brighter again, with new perspectives, revelations and understandings.
After feeling I had no time for myself, for my own life, for my own worries, I have reclaimed a lot of it just by being clear with people around me, by organising myself better, and by shifting my focus away from thinking about them and focusing on my own family life again.
And you know what?
Things are pretty peachy really.
There's not much wrong in my own world so I should be thankful.
And tommorow we are having some VIP visitors for fun and shennanigans so yippee for us!
Life is pretty sweet all in all and balance is back in the room :-)
I surfed over to your blog in one of those hop, skip, jump maneuvers.
ReplyDeleteI liked your intro - much in common so I settled in to read a few posts.
May I start with thank you for being honest.
Real people want to hear that life isn't all cotton candy and ponies- sometimes it's hard, dirty and complicated. All lives are like that, and it feels good to know that we don't journey in isolation.
I have volunteered and worked as a "helper"( Nurse, Doula, La Leche League ), most of my adult life- you also seem to carry this drive. Temper it with the realization that sometimes the shit is theirs to sort out, and that you will be not only overburdening yourself by taking too much of it on but get in the way of them learning a life lesson. I've learned a few things the hard way- this is just one.
I look forward to reading more !
You have no idea how much that made my morning waking up to your sweet comment. Thank you! I hope you continue to find something that speaks to you here at feet on the ground... thanks for reading!
ReplyDeleteYeah, also wanted to thank you for writing honestly - there is so much fluff out there (perhaps, I too am guilty?) It takes courage to tell it like it is sometimes, because sometimes it is ugly for all of us. Glad things are generally peachy though xx
ReplyDeleteyou know what - I want to read about life warts and all. I do not want to always read happy shiny things because life ain't like that honey, not really, not all the time. I try to remain upbeat but when life is dealing out crap the best I can do is to look at the dark stuff and say 'ok this absolutely sucks but this is how I hope I can turn it into something more positive'. I think writing about the crap is authentic and anyone who pretends their life is all lollipops and rainbows is superficial. Celebrate those sweet peachy times raise your hands to the sky and grin like a cheshire cat but be real, never be afraid to be real mama, we wouldn't have you any other way.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you are feeling more positive love, store that goodness like a camel does water in its hump for a day when goodness is a little scarce again.
Much much love X X X X
Sending you sunbeams x
ReplyDeleteYep, warts and all is fine :) (as long as it doesn't make you feel uncomfortable to share that much).
ReplyDeleteWe all like to promote how wonderful parenting is, how wonderful home ed is and there's quite a lot of pressure to paint a rosy picture. I like inspirational blogs, and aspirational blogs, but there's only so much of the glossy side of life that I can stomach.
When I'm finding my hum drum life dragging me down, what I find most reassuring is reading about other people who are just as ordinary (and as special ;) ) as me:)
Thanks lovely women. All is well here :-) Appreciate you all chipping in, how nice to know its ok to express myself here in the multicoloured ways that I need to! Sending rainbow love to all xxx
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