Thursday, 19 April 2012
Moving' on up!
I think that changes are a 'comin that are going to ease so much of the pressure it feels like the family has been under for so long. My dear friends have seen the strains and stresses coming out in so many ways. They have so patiently and lovingly born witness to our unfolding unhappiness and been kind and supportive and offered so much love it has been such a massive blessing to us. You know who you are, you know how much you have helped by talking things over and over with me, talking in circles, listening, holding the space of uncertainty with love and compassion. I am truly grateful to you. Truly, thank you. I've been feeling uncertain, indecisive, angry, frustrated, and overstretched mentally and emotionally for too long. Just lately my stomach has been knotted more days than not. I've had aches and pains and back problems - poor circulation, sciatica, lethargy, and feeling low. Did a pretty good job of hiding it from you on the blog, eh dear reader? Who wants to bang on and on about feeling a little miserable with their lives? Feeling unfulfilled? Unbalanced? Blah, boring! Who wants to read that stuff? The blog has been a wonderful escape for me, a place to reinvent some of my days, making them sound cheerier than they really were in real life. It's nicer to focus on the sweeter stuff that happens and push the crappy stuff below the surface. There have been lots of wonderful days and moments don't get me wrong! But too many sad or anxious ones than I would really wish for in the long term. I am becoming so aware that life is short and precious, that others suffer genuine tragedies and misfortunes, whereas our stresses have been self-induced and a result of our own choices along the way till now. But we live and learn so so much from all the different phases and parts of our life journey, so I have no regrets. Je ne regrette rien. I feel that things are going to change in such a dramatic way that we will drastically get our soul mojo back as a family to be a more loving, healthy, happy unit, vibrating and thriving more joyfully rather than just surviving, where following our dreams becomes more important than following orders, where listening to our hearts and having quality time with friends and ourselves will be more possible than at present, where our happiness outstrips our bank account not vice versa, and where our creativity and light can shine more truly. How can we expect our children to follow their passions, their dreams, their calling, their hearts if we cannot lead by example? If we sit around bitchin' about our lives rather than living a life we feel proud of then how are they going to learn to live with purpose and love? Changes are a comin' and there'll be no looking back. Bring it on, baby!!!!! I'm so ready.