I had a moment today, a realisation.
I have not been taking enough care of myself for a long time.
I haven't been eating great, I haven't been drinking enough fluids, I haven't been able to get to sleep easily. I haven't been a good friend to myself because I've been so focused on being a good friend to others, spending hours and hours late at night hoping and dreaming and praying that things will work out for them all. And in contrast to how I care for others I'm pretty lame at caring for myself! If I devoted a tenth of the time I am putting out worrying and caring for everyone else I would be in amazing shape!
This year, like every year I devoted a lot of time to finding lovely gifts for everyone I know, and didn't have a single present to give my husband on Christmas day. My man, the one who means more than anything, my best friend, my lover, my confidant, my partner. Nothing, nada, zip! This is partly because he said 'I already have everything I want, please don't get me anything'..... But still.... Only just now have I figured out what to get my love - I have a little surprise for him which will remedy that - shhhh..... don't tell though!
And I have realised that I am also way more generous with others too when it comes to seeing the good in them and believing the best in them - without extending the same courtesy to myself.
This year I have given myself so much of a hard time, been so unkind to myself, been unforgiving and hard on myself.
So I am going to do myself a favour this year. I am going to be gentle.
Instead of striving so hard to be strong and capable ALL the time, I am going to take some of my own advice.
In writing my birth book I have written some chapters in the benefits of remaining supple and bendy in birth in the metaphysical sense - and remained very inflexible in my own ways of thinking!
So this year I am going to learn to relax more, be bendy bendy bendy, and *truly* go with the flow.....
Good for you! Its so easy to look after everyone else and completely forget about yourself. I am guilty of this too-my new years resolution has been to eat 3 meals a day and try and do 30 minutes of exercise 5 times a week. I've managed to do the meals thing which is a pretty big deal for me but not the exercise yet. Might help with me waking up for 2 hours at 2am every morning though!
ReplyDeleteTake care Paula xx
I do the *one day at a time* method and it helps me float more happily through life in pretty much all areas. I have plans and I look ahead but I still remain in the one day at a time method. It seems to work in taking care of me and when you take care of yourself you can do a better job of taking care of everyone else.
ReplyDeleteMuch love xxxx
Hi Paula, I have really enjoyed your last few blog posts and this really resonates with me. I too am guilty of all of the above. It is so important to take some time out to care for yourself or else you quickly disintegrate into an impatient and bad tempered negative force (well, I do, at least!). Have been doing the Couch to 5k running plan when kids are in bed and am loving it. The endorphins and psychological lift it gives me goes beyond the run. xx
ReplyDeleteI could have written that one myself, I worry myself silly about other people, then am surprised when I get run down. If you are that type of person, you just are, but it means you have to work so much harder at caring for yourself. Maybe leave yourself some post-its around the house, reminding yourself its time you got a cuppa! I found Christmas this year trying, I put a lot of work into others gifts, and then felt truly exhausted come the big day! I am seriously considering renting a cottage somewhere quiet for next Christmas!
ReplyDeleteYour birth book sounds interesting, I often wish I could pop back in time and re-live my births, its such a magical moment.
I also just read your previous post, boy is parenting little men hard work sometimes! I am sure this phase will pass, though I can't guarantee it will be replaced with anything better, lol!
Take care of yourself x
Thank you all dear women. I think what I have described in this post is pretty common by the sounds of it! We mamas are used to coming last, even though we need to be in top form to do this full-on parenting job. Love all your suggestions and input - thank you! X
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