I have held the space while others buckled under the weight of it all being too much. I have walked away knowing the tears fell bitterly as soon as I left. I have cared for sisters and young ones, cradling them in safety and love.
Mamahood in fifty shades.
I truly love being a mama to others. I don't always find it easy. Sometimes it is freakin' hard. I'm no different from any other mama - full of tenderness and love some days but as bitchy and scratchy on those other days, the oh-so-tired days, the leave-me-alone days, as much as the next mama. Either way, motherhood is my bones. I was born to be a mother. It's written in my deepest soul.
It's weeks like this that I find myself turning to the fantastic book that I received for Christmas from the lovely Mrs. Dreaming Aloud, Lucy Pearce.
Lucy's book is a celebration and an honouring of the many faces of motherhood, the glory and the sacredness but also the heartbreak and the uncertainty - all rolled up in one beautiful package. This book comforts, questions and enlightens. It challenges. Like her fantastic column in Juno, it has soul. It is woven from love. It has grit. It has milk. It has tenderness. It is multicoloured and multi-textured. It's an anthology of a mothers year. The whole whirligig of motherhood lies between its pages. Lucy bravely reveals the naked truth about mothering - confiding in you her darkest mothering secrets, and making us realise we were not alone in thinking or feeling like this or that.
And I love this lil' book so much I am giving a copy away to one reader!
To have a chance of winning, tell me all the colours of your own mamahood right now. Tell me the joy and the wonder and the gladness and the shitty gritty.
The more honest and touching your story the better.
You could write a paragraph, you could write a poem. Or just a few words. Whatever you like.
I'll judge who deserves Moods Of Motherhood sent to them by Wednesday 5th Feb.
Big hugs to you mamas - you are ALL, without exception, AMAZING.
Xx MF xX
Oh, I get to be the first :)
ReplyDeleteThe truth is, that I struggle at the moment, struggle, struggle, struggle, and I don't know exactly where things are pointing, but I am not giving up. I struggle with my self, being happy, letting go of the past, and because of that I struggle being the parent I want to be. There is so much beauty in my life, and so much darkness some days. I pray to the divine, that there is a meaning with what is happening, that some day I wake up, brush the clouds aside, let go of guilt and shame, can see the world for what it really is, and let love shine.....
It all sounds so simple on paper doesn't it? But the living breathing waking sleeping truth is messier..... but that love DOES shine. Every day darling. Every day. And you ARE awesome! xxxxx
ReplyDeleteThank you :) Yes, I do wonder if I am just slow in my progress, or if parenting life is as messy for everybody else... ;) thank you for an inspiring blog! xxxx
ReplyDeletehttp://organicfamilylove.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/wits-end-raw-and-unedited-2.html
ReplyDeletethese are some shades of my mamahood struggles right now - a poem I wrote last week. I never edited it, that is how I felt at the time. I think the moon had a lot to do with what was going on for us but I am constantly flitting between pure joy and heartbreak at the struggle that is woven in to loving my children and wanting to raise them as free spirits.
Glad you have shitty gritty days too, I feel so inadequate sometimes - though I would rather neither of us did! x x x
What a beautiful book front!
ReplyDeleteI sometimes think that it would be lovely if motherhood was all the beautiful happy times that are so precious to us.
The truth is, that these moments are so precious because they are scattered in amongst the plain days and the plain awful days!
Motherhood is definitely a roller coaster ride, and for those of us who choose to be full time care givers to our children, there are many tired times when all we want is to be left alone.
Inadequacies stem from comparisons to others and from fear of the unknown future ahead, combined with the hormonal journey we take each month, there are days when life feels very much like an upwards struggle.
For the most part though, I feel very lucky to be treading this path, and to be able to watch my children grow and change. I can imagine that if they were in school, I would be missing an awful lot.
Life is good at the moment, (though if you ask me again in a week or so's time, I might well have turned into a hormonal mess and feel entirely different!)
Just to add... The artwork is by Lucy herself. She's one talented lady!
DeleteThanks for your lovely comment Liz - our days are all part of the beautiful big patchwork aren't they? X
ReplyDeleteI'm a tired and sore rainbow mama right now. This week I had surgery to remove a lump from my breast, a lump that was in part my sadness of the trauma that women are often put through to become mothers. My breasts are my mothering centre. While I didn't want the surgery I didn't want to take the risk that my babies might lose me if its something more than just a lump.
ReplyDeleteThe upshot of the surgery is that I have had to slow down, almost to a stop. Its meant that my littlest one has had my full attention even though I'm not feeling my best. Her cuddles and her smile make it all better.
I have a rainbow shaded breast today to go with my rainbow shaded life, even in the dark grey times a little light can shine through.
Love to all mothers no matter what colour you are today. x
Sending you lots of love, dear Awen - what a difficult time to go through. I believe that hard times really give us a chance to show our strength and discover the depths we never knew we had. I only just saw this message so I announced the winners of the book before adding your name. You clearly deserve to have a copy too, so please send your address! Big HUGS XXX
DeleteHow wonderful, thankyou so much.
DeleteBig love xx
Oh delighted Awen gets it! I'd love to give a copy from me to The Ordinary Goddess too.
ReplyDeleteI just saw this, and Paula just told me too, am so pleased, thank you so much!!! Really touched! xxxxx
ReplyDelete