Friday, 14 September 2012

What a difference a day makes...

As if to prove me utterly wrong, the day after my last post Alf was super delightful all day, and rarely had any paddys at all, making me wonder if I imagined the whole thing. Sneaky!

Well the boy keeps me on my toes that's for sure!!!

I've been feeling a bit bad about making out he's just some awful monster.

It's pretty bloody obvious to me after the event, that it was really ME having a meltdown. D'uh!

In truth, he is probably the family barometer for some other underlying emotions so it was kinda mean of me to lay it all on him. Actually when I look deeper for all the other little emotions that are going on that we think we keep neatly tucked away from the kids, turns out maybe they actually can feel it anyway. They just know. We've been having a few hiccoughs and scary moments regarding worky/money things, which we think are all under control. In truth, because the work situation has dragged on and on, with periodical spanners in the works, I've gotten used to living a little bit on the edge - waiting for it all to go tits up. So perhaps the little man is feeling some of that angst mixed in with his own highly dramatic preferences for juice strength, this plate and not that one, and a tickly bit in his sock that means he can't possible wear it and must instead, have a meltdown.


It's good to be back in the land of positive, the land of happy.

Speaking of positive and happy, I received a really touching congratulations card this week from a lovely old friend Em, saying

"A huge well done to you on your 15,000 hits! Your blog is truly inspiring, uplifting, and I really look forward to it dropping in my inbox - thank you! Keep up the good work"

Em, your words truly touched my heart, thank you so so much! It means such a lot to me to get messages like that, to know that someone I adore is getting such a buzz from my blog.

Sometimes it takes some big balls to hit the 'post' button, especially on posts like the last one. I want to go back to them and edit them into something softer, something less angst-ridden, something more palatable and acceptable. And yet, raw emotion is sometimes just that. Raw. OTT. In real life we're not always controlled and together and perfectly composed, Sometimes things just feel arggghh!

So anyway, thank you for reading, enjoying and commenting here, for sharing your thoughts, feelings and advice, for sending me cards, congratulations, commiserations, and for showing your support and love.

And not minding that I swear like a sailor.

On the topic of swearing, something which is supposedly a cardinal sin for writers till they've really established themselves..... I must share with you one of my favourite poets - Hollie McNish, another lady who can't help but say it out loud without leaving out the F word. I just LOVE her!

Check out her fantastic album about being pregnant: Push/Kick, which you can listen to in it's entirety here:

P.S. You might wet yourself laughing to some of these poems.
P.P.S. She swears quite a bit.



  1. (((hugs))) and lots of love to you Paula! Phoebe also likes things "just so" and still has meltdowns over the wrong dinner (which is pretty much anything except spaghetti Bolognaise!) when she is a bit tired. She is a classic Highly Sensitive Child - have you read the book (Elaine Aron I think). Ezra seems so easy going in comparison. Just keep doing the fab job you are doing, lovely mama! This too shall pass. xxx

  2. Thank you Laura. I think I've realised this weekend that when the house is full of people it's a better environment for him and he has less stress outs. This is why I think nursery is good for some kids, they like the hubbub. I need to get more kids over here on a weekly basis so he is too busy having fun to have meltdowns! I used to take The others to mum and toddler groups so they had a tribe of toddlers to run round with on a really regular basis, so must make more effort to have a weekly get-together at mine. Good for all of us really!

  3. And thanks for your lovely comment by the way :-) xxx