Thursday, 2 June 2011

The circle of life...

Ah, what an emotional day.

Today I held a very special bundle in my arms, a beautiful girl, new and tiny and at the start of her life on this earth.

And on this very same day I had a dream in the night. I dreamt of my friend Brenda, that we embraced and in doing so a river of pink light came from me, a river of pure love and life force energy, and it rose out of me and flowed right into her. She was smiling and thanking me for giving her some.

This morning I heard she had died in the night.

I want to tell you about Brenda. She was very special. A kind, listening, human touch kind of GP, who for years ran a holistic practise from her own home till her partners went all mainstream on her. They couldn't cope with her hippy ideas of healing love and energy. After battling with ovarian cancer whilst still a young woman, she had a hysterectomy. She was given a few months to live. She thought that cancer away, I swear. Later on in her life, she got leukemia. She was told the same. Again, she just thought it away, and did lots of energy work. In her early 60's she had a double mastectomy, and again, was told she only had a few months to live. I have never met anyone so stubborn or strong in my life.

She was a lady who believed strongly in god. And yet she also had a witchy streak and believed in the power of crystals, and did all kinds of energy work. She was a journey worker, helping many friends by phone for hours on end in the small hours, and in person. She radiated passion, and lived fearlessly. And she died with such grace in the end. She just got too tired this time round.

All day I have been waiting for a text from her. I just knew there was one. I don't know HOW, it was in my gut. And sure enough, it came.

She wrote the following:

"Don't cry for me. I am only in another room. Rather seek comfort from all who love you and care for you in the unconditional love you all share your comfort. We will meet again beyond this time and space. All blessings and love and thanks for what we shared this lifetime. X. Brenda."

The doctors do not know how she lived this long, since her entire body was absolutely riddled with cancer. They kept saying it wasn't possible for her to walk, that it shouldn't be possible. Yet her heart and mind never became poisoned, right til the end. She believed in the impossible. She was never bitter. She did not do self-pity. She was just an angel, bathed in pink light when I last saw her.

She was very much in my thoughts when I wrote my post about rebirth and renewal, and she read it and said she loved it. I wrote it about my life but was mindful about her next journey, the next chapter on her path. Her new threshold was death. She faced it bravely.

I hope I can live and die so beautifully, with such grace. Farewell, my beautiful friend. Thank you for everything. You helped me more than you can know. XXXXX .


  1. This was so very moving. I am just catching up on blogs after a week in Devon and was reading comments on Apron Strings only to read yours, click on your name and find out you have written for Juno mag! I've just put in a subscription! Serendipity indeed. Shall be following you from now on. Am homeschooling my boy of nearly five and am needing to get out more with him. I love being at home but he is just recently needing more stimulation. I look forward to reading your past blog posts for support and guidance.

  2. Thanks Lucy, for shedding tears with me. Our tears spring from the same well.

    Hello Muffinmoon! Happy to give support and guidance dear new friend, welcome. My first ever article for Juno is coming out in the next issue, so this is serendipitous indeed :-)