Tuesday 10 May 2011

Oh waistline, where art thou?

Ah, the little Buddha belly. I wear it like a badge that says, in CAPITAL LETTERS " Hey! I have absolutely no self control!" I have steadily been growing it over winter along with my husband. We grew them together. Love is.....eh? We munched our way through the dark months with little pots of Gu, home- made cake, and a growing lack of self- regard and control. Together we'd eat yummy things to cheer ourselves up, to compensate for the lack of a hip and happening social life ( Bit tricky with four cubs in tow). And if one or both of us was eating a little teeny bit too much we'd affectionately tease each other and ourselves, with a little grunty oink. Oh the shame, the shame. And now the season of weddings and meeting up with lots of old friends will be upon us very soon, and last time this happened I was feeling pretty fab, having lost four stone, and sporting a definite badge of "Oh yeah! Oh yeah! I have conquered my greed. I am the embodiment of SELF CONTROL! I actually have an almost flat tummy!"

Now I know that having had four babies a lot of people would cut me a huge load of slack on the belly front. Or they'd say " ah shut up, eat some more cake! Life's too short!" Indeed life is too short. I don't want to be deleting myself out of every family picture from now till eternity. So I MUST stop with the munching. And I write this as someone who is dieting quite successfully, but craving cake. Yesterday was hard. I wanted some of the home- made carrot cake I had lovingly made for the kids. That was a real test. I wanted it so badly.
I nibbled at the crumbs on the edge of their plate. I was good, but it took every fibre of my brain and will not to wolf that cake such was it's tantalising, mesmerising, power.

Computer time is another area where I need to get some perspective and cut back. Something weird happens with computers - cyber time gets warped and bent - an hour of cyber time feels like 15 minutes in real time....so easy to lose a couple of hours on there thinking it's just an hour. Sneaky sneaky computer! My self- restraint in that area is no better. " Paula, the house is on fire " says my husband. " that's nice darling" says I, still transfixed by the shiny portal, the glowing screen....

Ah, balance, balance, balance. What art thou? You seem to evade me. When I have you licked in one area of my life, you escape from another part of it.

9 comments:

  1. I don't! I cultivate my cake eating!!
    Seriously though, I hear ya!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Polunia,
    Here I have something sooo sweet and filling and totally guilt free - I've lost like 15 Lbs since last August mostly just by replacing most of my high calorie cravings by truskawki!
    Here it goes:
    Pound of organic strawberries - mush them with potato smasher (or whatever it's called)
    Add as much as you want (as it's calorie free)of erythritol sweetener (here the most popular brand is Truvia) - you can buy it in health food stores I think it's made of stevia leaves. Add 5-6 tablespoons of half and half (or three of milk and three of heavy cream) and enjoy!
    Every time I have it I feel as if I just had a huge dinner and desert in one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The hungry caterpillar's aint got nothing on me when it comes to having the munchies Madeline! Nope I would beat it hands (and nose) down in a munch off. Marta, that recipe sounds delish. I read a really interesting article on Stevia ages ago. Must look that up. Lucy, you are a curvalicious babe with boobies, so you can eat as much cake as you like! My tit/belly ratio is THE WRONG WAY ROUND, DAMMIT! Hahaha.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Polunia - never say about yourself "wrong" - it may be "the other" way around - who said what's wrong and what's right?

    ReplyDelete
  5. First off, you know I think you're beautiful as you are, Buddha bully or no Buddha belly (((()))
    But I do soooo think that denial and willpower are the wrong way to change habits. I just read a review of a book called "Savor" by Thich Nhat Hanh and think it would be right up your street. Instead of thinking "I won't eat this cos it'll make me fat" be mindful of the feelings you have around eating the food, recognise when you are craving, and ask yourself if this food is what your body needs right now. Show yourself some love with your eating, nourish yourself, don't deny yourself. Or something like that ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ah darling Viv, my sagey dear friend. Now funnily enough I am actually doing this! But I was on day five of my diet, which is the detoxy headachey day, and I had a moment, but after day five, you feel fab! But I disagree with you about willpower my lovely - surely willpower means making a choice, it involves an element of self-control, therefore empowerment, non? I am choosing not to be a slave to my tastebuds, with a greater goal in mind. Choice. Knowing what happens each way. I can choose to eat the cake and get fatter, or I can choose not to eat the cake and get slimmer.

    I am on the most delicious diet ever and eating nicer meals than before I was on it! Not crappy 'diet' foods but proper lovely food. I was only whinging about cake because it was my first ever carrot cake, and it smelt soooo good. But I resisted, because ultimately I do want to feel a bit lighter and less sluggish.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Love this post, I've just started trying to lose weight after having four children. I've managed to resist tucking into the nutella jar for two days!

    ReplyDelete