Ah, the little Buddha belly. I wear it like a badge that says, in CAPITAL LETTERS " Hey! I have absolutely no self control!" I have steadily been growing it over winter along with my husband. We grew them together. Love is.....eh? We munched our way through the dark months with little pots of Gu, home- made cake, and a growing lack of self- regard and control. Together we'd eat yummy things to cheer ourselves up, to compensate for the lack of a hip and happening social life ( Bit tricky with four cubs in tow). And if one or both of us was eating a little teeny bit too much we'd affectionately tease each other and ourselves, with a little grunty oink. Oh the shame, the shame. And now the season of weddings and meeting up with lots of old friends will be upon us very soon, and last time this happened I was feeling pretty fab, having lost four stone, and sporting a definite badge of "Oh yeah! Oh yeah! I have conquered my greed. I am the embodiment of SELF CONTROL! I actually have an almost flat tummy!"
Now I know that having had four babies a lot of people would cut me a huge load of slack on the belly front. Or they'd say " ah shut up, eat some more cake! Life's too short!" Indeed life is too short. I don't want to be deleting myself out of every family picture from now till eternity. So I MUST stop with the munching. And I write this as someone who is dieting quite successfully, but craving cake. Yesterday was hard. I wanted some of the home- made carrot cake I had lovingly made for the kids. That was a real test. I wanted it so badly.
I nibbled at the crumbs on the edge of their plate. I was good, but it took every fibre of my brain and will not to wolf that cake such was it's tantalising, mesmerising, power.
Computer time is another area where I need to get some perspective and cut back. Something weird happens with computers - cyber time gets warped and bent - an hour of cyber time feels like 15 minutes in real time....so easy to lose a couple of hours on there thinking it's just an hour. Sneaky sneaky computer! My self- restraint in that area is no better. " Paula, the house is on fire " says my husband. " that's nice darling" says I, still transfixed by the shiny portal, the glowing screen....
Ah, balance, balance, balance. What art thou? You seem to evade me. When I have you licked in one area of my life, you escape from another part of it.