Let Love Rule

Ok, I know I wasn't going to do any posts at the moment. I've been loving the other stuff I've been doing in the run up to Christmas and so on. We're having a party, pretty much from Friday onwards until about the 4th January. Literally. Among other celebrations, Herbie's birthday will be on the 21st, and we are going to Spain with a bunch of friends for 10 whole days from Boxing Day onwards. There's a lot to do, lots to plan, so it's all about making mince pies and tarting up the house. I've enjoyed just watching some TV of an evening or arsing around on facebook rather than having to do any serious writing. It's been really nice. I've also been gathering some amazing books for research on my book and some fantastic things are falling into place behind the scenes for some BIG changes.

But tonight I really want to write. I've been aching. Hurting. Grieving. Jeez, listening to the news on the radio over the last week had me sobbing yesterday as I drove down the A17. I was listening to a story about a boy of 9 and his mother who had been stabbed by his father before he set the house on fire. I went completely numb. Being a mother of four boys, this kind of story just hurts so much. Being any human at all makes these stories hurt. Also in the news recently a one month old baby who had been terrible abused and was fighting for his life. Then a footballer who hung himself, to everyone's complete and utter shock. The Stephen Lawrence trial was also discussed on the radio yesterday. A man blew up a bunch of innocent strangers in Belgium.... so much pain and suffering, pointless suffering...

I know there is good in the world, I know there is joy. I know there are endless kind deeds, selfless deeds committed every day, by people in every country, of every creed, race, religion. But it hurts that humanity has this capacity for such evil, for such soulessness. Humanity means everyone, including you and me. In other circumstances we might have grown up to be monsters, who were so full of pain and hurt that it could have been us who committed these atrocious acts. It's a scary thought. It hurts that somebody felt so utterly alone and isolated that they would do any of these acts.

Being alone is such a sad place for anyone to be. Which brings me to Christmas. I think everyone is collectively pretty het up about all the wrong things at Christmas-time in some ways. We agonise about having the perfect outfit to wear, the perfect meal to eat, the perfect presents, bla bla bla, perfect perfect perfect.... and yet.....isn't Christmas really about getting under each others skin? This can feel uncomfortable with those who have gotten under it for the wrong reasons, but essentially, Christmas is a time for sharing secrets and confidences, about letting our barriers down, about talking to people we might not normally have much time for? About having the heart-to-hearts with those we are too busy to talk to deeply all year round? 

Is it really about stuffing our faces, getting wazzed and buying and receiving presents that may or may not hit the spot anyway? 

Christmas is a time to spread a ripple of love out there but why should it be confined to a few days of the year? Let's spread a ripple of love and goodwill, of kindness, and favours, right now. Let's commit to it all year round. To be less uptight with each other. To ask each other the question "How are you? and mean it. 

Each good thing we do for someone will likely cause them to do a good turn themselves. It's a gift that keeps on giving, with us at the epicentre of the ripple. With just one kind word we said. Or one generous act. Or simply a smile. We can offer the gift of our ears to really listen to someone. We can give them the gift of touch. Or forgiveness. Or hope. Or confidence. Or rememberance. We can help them with  muscle or time or help or just plain wonga if that's what's most needed.

The ripples of our caring will continue to be felt in the universe and may reach the distant shores of the heart of someone about to kill, or hurt others ..... love spreads.....

Who knows how far love can travel????

Xx Peace xX

Dear darling Blog....

Dearest Blog,

.... I've been pretty distracted with other dreams and schemes recently. I'm sorry. 

Just lately I've gotten pretty sucked into so many activities that I cannot keep up with them all and be a good Mummy too.

Tonight I read a bedtime story to my children for the first time in ages. I'd gotten so tired of being a home-edding, full-time mama that I couldn't wait to get them off to bed so I could spend time with you or some other escapist activity. I started fantasizing about you in the daytime, I wanted to be with you to escape from Pokemon talk, bouncing, drawing cartoons, making messes and having fun. But I've been thinking how precious our time is, how little of it there actually is in the big scheme of things and how I am not really as good at being a superwoman as I would like. Being a superwoman for my kiddos is more important to me really than anything else.

So I'm stepping back from you a little. I've been having an affair with a different project - writing an exciting book (sorry).... and I'm meeting some fantastic people along this journey.... so I'm going to be spending a little more time putting my energy into realising those dreams - time which I have to steal from somewhere....

I love you, I really do. But I'm going to be seeing you a lot less from now on. I'll still pour my visions and dreams out here at your place and we'll have a stack of fun doing it. Our friends will still pop in for a cuppa and we'll make them cake and biscuits, and mess around like old times. But it wont be as often as before. Just for a bit. Just while I get my shit together. And bring back more balance to this joint.

And then we'll seriously GET DOWN 'N' DIRTY again. 

Honest.

Love 'n' hugs

Xx Motherfunker xX

A BRAND NEW KIND OF PARENTING BOOK....FEATURING....YOU!

Hey you beautiful people :-)

I am putting together my first book and need your help!

I've been dreaming it up for a while, and figuring out what I want it to be, and now I know.

The thing is, I am a super big fan of a lot of hippy type books on parenting, but there's very little out there that completely ticks all my boxes. 

I want a book that's a bit indie, a bit hippy, a bit retro, a bit punk. Flowery. Paisley. Electro. 

I want poetry. I want photos. I want paintings. I want a feast of colours. I want cute photos of babies in all their glorious splendour. I want pics of mamas, papas, grandparents, siblings. I want anecdotes. I want wisdom. I want nitty gritty. I want taboo. I want flippant, silly and rude. I want heartbreaking. I want breastfeeding pics. I want bottle-feeding ones. I want pics of bellys. Tattoos. 'Just after birth' pics. Placenta pics. Bonding pics. 

I want the book to be a joy to look at, to be a coffee table wonder, with unexpected random things on each page. Something for expectant mamas and papas that is delicious, succulent and wow.

What I don't want is to push any parenting style/method/philosophy. This book will not be about judgement. Or saying "Do it like this".

It will simply be an eclectic snapshot of all things baby and pregnant and groovy.

You guys will get the credit - I see myself really as just the editor/co-ordinator.

The best bit? All the proceeds from this book will go to charity. Every single penny.

At the moment it's a toss up between Warchild and Hope.

If you'd like to be involved, please drop me an email at

onelittlebuffalogirl@hotmail.com

Can't wait to hear from you!!!

Love 

Xx Motherfunker xX

PLEASE

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November Gratituesday

Hey

Well a mixed up day here in our household. Joyous, beauteous, dear things and hideous news of unforgiveable foul play and treason to a dear one, all rolled up in one day. I am sad and aching with hurt that people can be so mean, calculated and selfish, but am cradled in love and compassion in my own heart and home. Thank goodness I had my gorgeous friend Nicole here with me - she was my rock today....

I've been meaning to do a gratitude post for a while, showcasing some beautiful gifts I have received this year from friends, so I'm doing an impromptu one tonight as I feel moved to give thanks for good people, for good things, for kindness, for thoughtfulness and caring.

Take a look at these lovely lovely cards and gifts :-)

Love Love Love each of you for these. 

Finn and Herbie - I love you for those beautiful pictures you drew last night that said 'I love you Mum and Dad' - just because you felt like it... Indie and Alf thank you for all your cuddles, massages, giggles and bounces even though you drove me a little nuts today at one point (having a waterpistol fight in the house (!) and I got angry about all the wet splashes and puddles you created...

Nicole I love you for being so inspiring, for your beautiful heart, for the pretty pretty candle you made for me with a special orchid flower that was precious to you....

Viv I love you for hearing me, for never judging, for your wisdom, humour, inspiration and hugs, for the fab mug rug you sewed up for me, the poems you sent, for being a real pal....

Em I love you for your enduring friendship and strength, inspiring me to keep going when things are tough, for the beautiful scarf and card....

Lucy I love you for your vision and heart, and thank you for the fab prize gift of a needle felted hand-made pouch full of Pukka tea bags (see the angel above - isn't she lovely) made by your own fair hands....

Julie I love you for being so sweet and good-hearted - the beautiful second pair of socks - Wow! I so wanted to keep those beauties!!! Thank you...

Pete I love you as ever anyway, but thank you for the lovely gift from Paris. How the heck did you have time for that you crazy gorgeous man? XXX

Kerrie - thank you for the really brilliant Rolf Harris CD and the pretty pretty card - and for the silly fun in a field laughing and being big kids we had this summer :-)

I am thankful for my amazing circle of home ed fellow Mamas (Post on this to come soon!) - each wise, witty, resourceful, funny, kind, and a little bit nutty in their own different ways!!! I love you all truly XXX

Well my gratitude flows out to all my friends, my family, each of you who knows and loves me and vice versa - I LOVE YOU ALL stupendously, ridunkulously and freakalicious amounts. 

You make me so grateful and glad to be alive!!!

:-)

Xx Motherfunker xX

We heart Tony Hart and the boy who bit Picasso!

Well we've been having a pretty colourful time here in Cleary world!

I have a new pink hair-do, which is making me feel more colourful, vibrant and alive!

Gorgeous fireworks danced before our eyes on Saturday night, making us oooohhhh and ahhhhhh!

We went to a car-boot sale on Sunday and I discovered the best stall ever. This guy was selling art papers and old fashioned school books for writing in, dirt cheap. 12 x A4 books for £2! Lined, graph, squared in small, medium and large squares, half blank half lined - I couldn't resist. Poster paint bottles for £1 each! Pencils and pens of all colours and varieties.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I have a serious stationary fetish. I might have been dribbling a bit on that stall!

So fired up by all this colourific inspiration, we've been doing some pretty interesting art here today. The kids immediately took to the squared sheets of paper, and started producing 'pixelated art'.

 We had a K-9 pixelated Dr. Who robo-dog, a new colour-coded system devised to go outside Herbie's bedroom door, and some other interesting pixelated ork.

Which led to looking at lots of pixelated artwork on google images, which was also fun.

But then they asked to watch a programme called Mr. Maker on CBBC. This guy is scary.

I thought, ok, let's watch a little bit - but was getting really really angry watching this. This?Is?Art? Ok it's aimed at pre-schoolers, but still - is that the best they can do?

Why does everything aimed at young ones have to be so insulting to their intelligence nowadays? As if kids don't understand what you say unless you look like you are on drugs? You can't just be some normal person. No. You have to be KRAAAAZY! With a K. Uggghh. I hate it. I really hate it.

Art for children honestly seems such dumbed-down rubbish these days. If you go in most 'art' shops, or major craft stores, there is so little open ended material available. Instead it's just wave after wave of unimaginative kits which tell you exactly what to do - where's the creativity in that? Stick this here, put that there - voila! You have copied a picture someone else designed. Well done. No imagination required whatsoever! And it's all made of crap plastic horrid man-made material, totally throwaway, basically junk. Where is the beauty? Can you really call such creations 'art'? Even junk modelling makes me angry - often turning recyclable stuff into tat models that won't last till lunchtime - and in the process they now have to go to landfill because they've been made un-recyclable!

After tutting and bitching and moaning I turned Mr Psycho off. "I'm going to show you something much better than this" I promised the kids.

And so we had a fantastic couple of hours watching Tony Hart's episodes of his art programme from the late 70's and 80's called Take Hart and Hartbeat on youtube. Remember him?

Tony Hart's programmes were where Nick Park first introduced us to Morph...

Yeah ok there was still some 'disposable' art stuff going on in these programmes and in one episode there was some weird janitor guy who obviously marked the BBC's attempt to start 'getting down with the kids' by giving us a whacky idiot for 5 minutes of the otherwise excellent show to keep things exciting.
But generally, these programmes were way more experimental. More daring. They used real materials, inks, pens, colours - not just brightly coloured bits of foam and pom poms. The Gallery was a showcase of beautiful artwork sent in by children - using real materials - fantastic pictures in chalks, inks, watercolours, charcoal. Often really highly quality, and looking amazing in terms of the standard, the quality for children so young.

Have kids really become any less able? Are they really much less talented these days? I don't think so at all. They just have so many other all-singing-all-dancing activities to do instead. Computers can do art for you so you don't have to - right? I think there is perhaps a mentality of why-bother-producing anything-imperfect-when-you-can-make-a-perfect-piece-of-crap? There is a serious trend of dumbing down that I think we can't afford to go along with much longer. Will people forget how to paint? How to sew? How to make lasting artwork, to be enjoyed for generations to come? Art work that means something? Do kids know how to really look at anything any more? To savour... to see beauty in the simplest of things - in nature even?

It's insulting to children to assume they're only capable of producing art from a ready-kit.

Some element of impermanence is perfectly necessary in art - a sandcastle being the perfect example - you know the tide will come in but that doesn't stop you making it, eh?

The impermanence of nature means an ever-changing pallette, and life, as it moves on, will show up as different kinds of art throughout an artists life. That doesn't mean that as a child, it should involve simply glitter, pom-poms and glue - let them get into some real art.

Maybe for Christmas - how about buying the kids some really 'grown up' art materials? How about taking them to more art galleries, installations, and talks?

We recently went to a talk by Anthony Penrose, who wrote about his childhood friendship with Picasso, in the book

He was such a colourful, eccentric and at the same time sensible, and warm person, who we were lucky enough to sit just a metre or so away from, and my eldest son Finn just drank everything he had to say. His tales of growing up with what sounded like the most wonderful parents who were best buds with Picasso just had us in awe. At the end, after Finn patiently waited in line for about 15 minutes, he called him to the front of the queue, and drew something wonderful for him - and Finn, took one look at the picture and added his own addition - drawing a boy's face around the word 'boy'.

Anthony had a twinkle in his eye and told Finn how pleased he was that he drew on the book and encouraged him to doodle on all the other pages when he got home if he wished!

Now that is real magic and inspiration!!!