Ah, the little Buddha belly. I wear it like a badge that says, in CAPITAL LETTERS " Hey! I have absolutely no self control!" I have steadily been growing it over winter along with my husband. We grew them together. Love is.....eh? We munched our way through the dark months with little pots of Gu, home- made cake, and a growing lack of self- regard and control. Together we'd eat yummy things to cheer ourselves up, to compensate for the lack of a hip and happening social life ( Bit tricky with four cubs in tow). And if one or both of us was eating a little teeny bit too much we'd affectionately tease each other and ourselves, with a little grunty oink. Oh the shame, the shame. And now the season of weddings and meeting up with lots of old friends will be upon us very soon, and last time this happened I was feeling pretty fab, having lost four stone, and sporting a definite badge of "Oh yeah! Oh yeah! I have conquered my greed. I am the embodiment of SELF CONTROL! I actually have an almost flat tummy!"
Now I know that having had four babies a lot of people would cut me a huge load of slack on the belly front. Or they'd say " ah shut up, eat some more cake! Life's too short!" Indeed life is too short. I don't want to be deleting myself out of every family picture from now till eternity. So I MUST stop with the munching. And I write this as someone who is dieting quite successfully, but craving cake. Yesterday was hard. I wanted some of the home- made carrot cake I had lovingly made for the kids. That was a real test. I wanted it so badly.
I nibbled at the crumbs on the edge of their plate. I was good, but it took every fibre of my brain and will not to wolf that cake such was it's tantalising, mesmerising, power.
Computer time is another area where I need to get some perspective and cut back. Something weird happens with computers - cyber time gets warped and bent - an hour of cyber time feels like 15 minutes in real time....so easy to lose a couple of hours on there thinking it's just an hour. Sneaky sneaky computer! My self- restraint in that area is no better. " Paula, the house is on fire " says my husband. " that's nice darling" says I, still transfixed by the shiny portal, the glowing screen....
Ah, balance, balance, balance. What art thou? You seem to evade me. When I have you licked in one area of my life, you escape from another part of it.
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
Sunday, 8 May 2011
But what about exams?
As a home educating parent, I am often asked the same questions over and over again. It's a bit like being permanently heavily pregnant, when strangers generally are likely to strike up a conversation with you asking a rather predictable set of questions or make the same observations. When pregnant it's usually "when are you due? or " how long have you got to go?" or in my case it always seemed to be " Ooh you've got your hands full".
I know, people are making polite conversation. But it is shocking how little is known or understood about home education in general. Many people still actually think it is illegal, or at least, that you can only do it to the end of primary level. People often genuinely haven't the faintest idea about what home educators are allowed to do. The government doesn't exactly advertise or promote the option. They seem to treat it as an unfortunate loop-hole that only those pesky freethinking rebels are wily enough to get away with. As each of my children have approached school age I have NEVER received anything other than an offer of a school place from the education authority, in language that clearly assumes, or even asserts, that this is your one and only option. Never any mention of home Ed, never any discussion or offer of information or help. Nope, it is totally up to you to be in the know, and for too many parents, the option only presents itself after their child has spent an unnecessarily painful and miserable period in school, which could have been avoided. Many parents find out by accident.
So what is the deal with home Ed?
Contrary to popular belief, you do not need to be a trained teacher or have a degree. Surprisingly, all the school-teachers who have become home educators that I know, actually talk about the liberation that home Ed has brought them and how they actually try to do the exact opposite of what they have been trained. They often have the hardest time initially de-schooling, having been taught to value academic achievement above all other kinds. Spending a lot of time with your children and being in tune with their needs is enough. How did your child learn to crawl, walk, talk, or run? Because they wanted and needed to, and it was modelled by those around them. Utterly naturally, no university degree needed to teach your kids these. And yet, we know that if someone suffers a stroke, these basic skills of walking and talking are extremely challenging and difficult to re-learn, they involve a massive amount of effort and frustration. It stand to reason therefore that in general, learning occurs completely naturally if you scaffold and support it, but there is no need to be an expert in advance. Children can learn to read, write, self- teach themselves all sorts of things in the same way they mostly taught themselves to walk and talk. They may stumble and fall over a lot, but through sheer need and determination they achieve their goal, in the same way we did when we learnt to walk and talk. As adults, we know how easily we learn something we desire to know. We are spongy and receptive and wide eyed. Kids are no different.
You don't legally have to follow the national curriculum. Nope, you are required to provide an education which is fitting to the child's age and aptitude, but other than that, there are no specifications. Living life fully is curriculum enough for me and mine.My kids learn in the classroom of the whole world from real life situations. From interesting people. From Books. Audiotapes. Cd-roms. Tv/ Dvds/ Documentaries. The Internet. Learning by doing. Trial and error. From friends, neighbours, family members,museum curators, enthusiasts, writers, puppeteers, stall-holders, plumbers, builders, the post-lady, bakers, teachers of various random things - ukulele, street dance, archery, animation, ballet, gymnastics, tae- kwon do. Even random strangers who we get talking to. A huge spectrum resources, and mixing with people who have massively different personalities. How much more broad and balanced could you get?
Ok another thing people often assume is that Home Educated children don't have as good a social life as schooled children. Here's the thing. I will agree that home educated kids don't have the same daily exposure to lots of other kids exactly their same age. But who says this is necessarily an ideal or even very realistic model of socialisation for later life? Adults don't arrange themselves into groups of other people simply by the accident of being exactly the same age as them, do they? It seems socially more responsible to expose children to a wider spectrum of folks in their daily lives, not simply an 'us' and 'them' of kids and teachers/ adults in general. The adults in a home educated child's life are generally engaging with them in a more meaningful way, for more concentrated periods of full- attention, than say a teacher who has to spread themselves out between 10- 30 kids. Home educated kids days are interspersed with moments of free- play or self- study that tend to reflect their needs in real-time. True, home Ed kids rarely play with 20 other kids, every day of the week. But is that necessarily a bad thing? Friendships in school are often tenuous and volatile, children often have to behave in a way that goes against their true nature, simply to fit in or not be picked on, and there are bullies who can make ones waking life a misery. Unhappy children are scientifically proven to find it harder to concentrate and assimilate information, so school can actually, in some cases, be damaging for one's social development, self- esteem, and intellectual development. I would rather my children had a core of solid friendships with folks they saw once a week or sometimes two or more times weekly and have a strong sense of friendship with ALL in their lives. Including adults. Home Ed meet- ups are buzzing, vibrant get togethers with children of all ages playing together and there is much less pre-occupation with single- sex ganging up together. Teenagers carry toddlers and babies around with them, adults will sometimes join in with a game the kids are having, generally everyone plays and chats and problems between children are nipped in the bud straight away, with adults and older and wiser children offering solutions to younger ones who are having some issue.
Exams. Not strictly necessary. Not a legal requirement. They CAN be very useful. They are also bloomin' expensive, since we have to fork out for them ourselves. Very generous of the government to tax my husband and use the money to pay for other children's education, and then ask us to shell out for our own, at a much higher rate than schools are charged! Yep, basically you are on your own financially for home Ed and exams are VERY expensive. On the plus side, your child can sit exams earlier or later than schooled peers, when they are ready. They can also study for a wider range/ combination of exams than is possible at school. But if home educated folks can get into places like Cambridge uni on the strength of their interview and can demonstrate their utter devotion to a subject, I have hope that there are means and ways to get where you want to be without 10 Gcse's and 3 A'levels. I think the clever way to approach exams is to cherry pick those that your child really needs to get to the next level of where they want to go. It does good to remember that many self- made successes are often those who have succeeded in spite of school, not because of it, and have gotten where they are today by grit, personality, risk taking and the ability to think outside the box.
Now please don't think I write any of this here to undermine the intellectual capacity of those mamas reading this, who send their children to school. In no way is this blog post a dig at your choices. We all do what instinctively feels best for our kiddos, using the best of our abilities of reasoning and working our own personal circumstances to the advantage of our own brood. I do not think that those who send their children to school are bad mamas! No way Jose!
But I do feel a little sad that so little is understood about home Ed by the public at large. That there is so much misinformation, so many misconceptions, pre- conceptions and so on.
Your kid may go to the loveliest school ever with amazing teachers. I do not seek to put your choice down.
I'm simply mindful and thankful that we at least have the option of another way. That this way works really beautifully for us. That we have the option of sending the children to school in future, should that feel like the right thing to do. But for now, the kids are living free, and I celebrate and am in constant amazement at this wonderful international movement called home Ed that we are so very lucky and priviledged to be a part of.
I know, people are making polite conversation. But it is shocking how little is known or understood about home education in general. Many people still actually think it is illegal, or at least, that you can only do it to the end of primary level. People often genuinely haven't the faintest idea about what home educators are allowed to do. The government doesn't exactly advertise or promote the option. They seem to treat it as an unfortunate loop-hole that only those pesky freethinking rebels are wily enough to get away with. As each of my children have approached school age I have NEVER received anything other than an offer of a school place from the education authority, in language that clearly assumes, or even asserts, that this is your one and only option. Never any mention of home Ed, never any discussion or offer of information or help. Nope, it is totally up to you to be in the know, and for too many parents, the option only presents itself after their child has spent an unnecessarily painful and miserable period in school, which could have been avoided. Many parents find out by accident.
So what is the deal with home Ed?
Contrary to popular belief, you do not need to be a trained teacher or have a degree. Surprisingly, all the school-teachers who have become home educators that I know, actually talk about the liberation that home Ed has brought them and how they actually try to do the exact opposite of what they have been trained. They often have the hardest time initially de-schooling, having been taught to value academic achievement above all other kinds. Spending a lot of time with your children and being in tune with their needs is enough. How did your child learn to crawl, walk, talk, or run? Because they wanted and needed to, and it was modelled by those around them. Utterly naturally, no university degree needed to teach your kids these. And yet, we know that if someone suffers a stroke, these basic skills of walking and talking are extremely challenging and difficult to re-learn, they involve a massive amount of effort and frustration. It stand to reason therefore that in general, learning occurs completely naturally if you scaffold and support it, but there is no need to be an expert in advance. Children can learn to read, write, self- teach themselves all sorts of things in the same way they mostly taught themselves to walk and talk. They may stumble and fall over a lot, but through sheer need and determination they achieve their goal, in the same way we did when we learnt to walk and talk. As adults, we know how easily we learn something we desire to know. We are spongy and receptive and wide eyed. Kids are no different.
You don't legally have to follow the national curriculum. Nope, you are required to provide an education which is fitting to the child's age and aptitude, but other than that, there are no specifications. Living life fully is curriculum enough for me and mine.My kids learn in the classroom of the whole world from real life situations. From interesting people. From Books. Audiotapes. Cd-roms. Tv/ Dvds/ Documentaries. The Internet. Learning by doing. Trial and error. From friends, neighbours, family members,museum curators, enthusiasts, writers, puppeteers, stall-holders, plumbers, builders, the post-lady, bakers, teachers of various random things - ukulele, street dance, archery, animation, ballet, gymnastics, tae- kwon do. Even random strangers who we get talking to. A huge spectrum resources, and mixing with people who have massively different personalities. How much more broad and balanced could you get?
Ok another thing people often assume is that Home Educated children don't have as good a social life as schooled children. Here's the thing. I will agree that home educated kids don't have the same daily exposure to lots of other kids exactly their same age. But who says this is necessarily an ideal or even very realistic model of socialisation for later life? Adults don't arrange themselves into groups of other people simply by the accident of being exactly the same age as them, do they? It seems socially more responsible to expose children to a wider spectrum of folks in their daily lives, not simply an 'us' and 'them' of kids and teachers/ adults in general. The adults in a home educated child's life are generally engaging with them in a more meaningful way, for more concentrated periods of full- attention, than say a teacher who has to spread themselves out between 10- 30 kids. Home educated kids days are interspersed with moments of free- play or self- study that tend to reflect their needs in real-time. True, home Ed kids rarely play with 20 other kids, every day of the week. But is that necessarily a bad thing? Friendships in school are often tenuous and volatile, children often have to behave in a way that goes against their true nature, simply to fit in or not be picked on, and there are bullies who can make ones waking life a misery. Unhappy children are scientifically proven to find it harder to concentrate and assimilate information, so school can actually, in some cases, be damaging for one's social development, self- esteem, and intellectual development. I would rather my children had a core of solid friendships with folks they saw once a week or sometimes two or more times weekly and have a strong sense of friendship with ALL in their lives. Including adults. Home Ed meet- ups are buzzing, vibrant get togethers with children of all ages playing together and there is much less pre-occupation with single- sex ganging up together. Teenagers carry toddlers and babies around with them, adults will sometimes join in with a game the kids are having, generally everyone plays and chats and problems between children are nipped in the bud straight away, with adults and older and wiser children offering solutions to younger ones who are having some issue.
Exams. Not strictly necessary. Not a legal requirement. They CAN be very useful. They are also bloomin' expensive, since we have to fork out for them ourselves. Very generous of the government to tax my husband and use the money to pay for other children's education, and then ask us to shell out for our own, at a much higher rate than schools are charged! Yep, basically you are on your own financially for home Ed and exams are VERY expensive. On the plus side, your child can sit exams earlier or later than schooled peers, when they are ready. They can also study for a wider range/ combination of exams than is possible at school. But if home educated folks can get into places like Cambridge uni on the strength of their interview and can demonstrate their utter devotion to a subject, I have hope that there are means and ways to get where you want to be without 10 Gcse's and 3 A'levels. I think the clever way to approach exams is to cherry pick those that your child really needs to get to the next level of where they want to go. It does good to remember that many self- made successes are often those who have succeeded in spite of school, not because of it, and have gotten where they are today by grit, personality, risk taking and the ability to think outside the box.
Now please don't think I write any of this here to undermine the intellectual capacity of those mamas reading this, who send their children to school. In no way is this blog post a dig at your choices. We all do what instinctively feels best for our kiddos, using the best of our abilities of reasoning and working our own personal circumstances to the advantage of our own brood. I do not think that those who send their children to school are bad mamas! No way Jose!
But I do feel a little sad that so little is understood about home Ed by the public at large. That there is so much misinformation, so many misconceptions, pre- conceptions and so on.
Your kid may go to the loveliest school ever with amazing teachers. I do not seek to put your choice down.
I'm simply mindful and thankful that we at least have the option of another way. That this way works really beautifully for us. That we have the option of sending the children to school in future, should that feel like the right thing to do. But for now, the kids are living free, and I celebrate and am in constant amazement at this wonderful international movement called home Ed that we are so very lucky and priviledged to be a part of.
Thursday, 5 May 2011
35.....Things that make me happy
Well hello. How are you?
Today I am celebrating my 35th birthday. I am feeling pretty good. I am just a few pageviews shy of the big 500, so am thrilled that you folks seem to like the blog. I am LOVING it too - really enjoying the feedback, the private emails and all sorts of buzz and appreciation and love from you. Thank you! My head has started to swell just a little! It's a great feeling, especially since the last year was really tough and I was so heartbroken following the deaths of two dear ones.
So anyway, I thought since I am 35, that I'd write a wee list of my 35 fave things. Actually they may not be exactly, as I'm sure I'll think of more, but here are those I have the brains to think of right now....
35 things that make me happy
My wonderful husband. He is Top Banana, the bees knees, the BEST.
My four bright inspirations, Finn, Herbie, Indie and Alf. They teach me sooo much, and are full of love and life.
My crazy family at large. Love you all LOADS. Mrs. Sandy-pants Tahzima especially!!!
My friends. Mad and brilliant and groovy each in their own different ways.
My fluffy bearded collie, Martha.
Home Ed.
Birth.
Flora n Fauna.
Freewheelin'.
Cake.
Birds.
Breath-taking views.
Books, books, books.
Lush.
Poland.
Morocco.
Ina May Gaskin.
Weekends with friends.
Betty Dare.
Floral patterns.
My garden.
A uniform-free lifestyle.
Devendra Banhart.
Strawberries and Cream.
Our new Bell Tent.
Adventures in our campervan.
Hand-made fabric things of beauty.
Birthdays.
Pete's home-made Mojitos.
Elizabeth Mitchell. (The musician, not the actress)
JUNO.
Brian Cox.
The Mighty Boosh.
Beck.
Woody Guthrie.
And here's a little song for everyone, which I have been singing a lot lately :-)
Today I am celebrating my 35th birthday. I am feeling pretty good. I am just a few pageviews shy of the big 500, so am thrilled that you folks seem to like the blog. I am LOVING it too - really enjoying the feedback, the private emails and all sorts of buzz and appreciation and love from you. Thank you! My head has started to swell just a little! It's a great feeling, especially since the last year was really tough and I was so heartbroken following the deaths of two dear ones.
So anyway, I thought since I am 35, that I'd write a wee list of my 35 fave things. Actually they may not be exactly, as I'm sure I'll think of more, but here are those I have the brains to think of right now....
35 things that make me happy
My wonderful husband. He is Top Banana, the bees knees, the BEST.
My four bright inspirations, Finn, Herbie, Indie and Alf. They teach me sooo much, and are full of love and life.
My crazy family at large. Love you all LOADS. Mrs. Sandy-pants Tahzima especially!!!
My friends. Mad and brilliant and groovy each in their own different ways.
My fluffy bearded collie, Martha.
Home Ed.
Birth.
Flora n Fauna.
Freewheelin'.
Cake.
Birds.
Breath-taking views.
Books, books, books.
Lush.
Poland.
Morocco.
Ina May Gaskin.
Weekends with friends.
Betty Dare.
Floral patterns.
My garden.
A uniform-free lifestyle.
Devendra Banhart.
Strawberries and Cream.
Our new Bell Tent.
Adventures in our campervan.
Hand-made fabric things of beauty.
Birthdays.
Pete's home-made Mojitos.
Elizabeth Mitchell. (The musician, not the actress)
JUNO.
Brian Cox.
The Mighty Boosh.
Beck.
Woody Guthrie.
And here's a little song for everyone, which I have been singing a lot lately :-)
Tuesday, 3 May 2011
Wonderful world, beautiful people
Hey, beautiful people.
Check out my latest article on Homeschooling-ideas.com's brand new blog!
Read my mega-list of inspiring people and find out why I think people are one of the greatest resources in my home-ed school-kit.
http://blog.homeschooling-ideas.com/wonderful-world-beautiful-people/
Hope you're having a good day :-)
Check out my latest article on Homeschooling-ideas.com's brand new blog!
Read my mega-list of inspiring people and find out why I think people are one of the greatest resources in my home-ed school-kit.
http://blog.homeschooling-ideas.com/wonderful-world-beautiful-people/
Hope you're having a good day :-)
Sunday, 1 May 2011
Born Free
Ever seen the movie Born Free?
Well we have slowly been making our way through Lovefilm's entire collection of tear-jerky, true animal movies just lately. Fly away home. The adventures of Greyfriars Bobby. That kind of thing. And then Born Free/ Living Free ( The sequel to BF ) dropped onto our doormat the other day. I vaguely remembered from my childhood that it was a story about Elsa the lion, and it had an epic theme tune. That was about it.
So we sat down for a double bill and made an afternoon of it.
Oh my good God. I have realised that I am the embodiment of Joy Adamson in home educating form. I was laughing my head off throughout the film seeing the parallels between us both.
There she is with these cute cubs, going (sad face) "Oh pleeaaase George (Pete) can't we keep them? They are just sooo ADORABLE!"
And she gets her own way and so the mayhem begins! Except in my case, it turns out my cubs are actually human children. Four of them. All boys.
It all starts quite gently and having lions in your home seems like a do-able option. At first the little critters are simply knocking drinks over, or climbing on the furniture.... That kind of thing.But in no time at at they are bigger, and start gnashing things, giving visitors the evil eye and defecating in inappropriate places. Sounds familiar! Then comes the full- blown zoo-at-home, when the wee darlings are getting not just Big for their pussy-cat boots, but completely taking over the gaffe and acting like the Rolling Stones at Villa Nellcote.
And when Joy finally, after patiently enduring the destruction of her house, says something like "Oh George, why don't we move them out of the house?" I find myself thinking "Dammit that woman is a GENIUS!".
George sets to work building a new door frame complete with heavy-duty lion-proof mesh to keep the feline hooligans out. I am mentally taking notes.
And good old Joy resists sending them to the zoo at every turn. Everyone tells her she is nuts. That these lions belong in a zoo, not in the wild. Is she crazy? Hell yeah!
And then comes all the trialling and erroring of getting them to successfully mate, and not get shot, or eaten by other baddie lions, and not die in the wilderness when released. The worry and stress of it all!!!
I have all that ahead of me. But for now, I am measuring up the door frames and eyeing up the garden, wondering if they could fend for themselves .... Pete thinks they are definitely old enough, but I dunno.... Alf is only 2..... But I am tempted.....
Well we have slowly been making our way through Lovefilm's entire collection of tear-jerky, true animal movies just lately. Fly away home. The adventures of Greyfriars Bobby. That kind of thing. And then Born Free/ Living Free ( The sequel to BF ) dropped onto our doormat the other day. I vaguely remembered from my childhood that it was a story about Elsa the lion, and it had an epic theme tune. That was about it.
So we sat down for a double bill and made an afternoon of it.
Oh my good God. I have realised that I am the embodiment of Joy Adamson in home educating form. I was laughing my head off throughout the film seeing the parallels between us both.
There she is with these cute cubs, going (sad face) "Oh pleeaaase George (Pete) can't we keep them? They are just sooo ADORABLE!"
And she gets her own way and so the mayhem begins! Except in my case, it turns out my cubs are actually human children. Four of them. All boys.
It all starts quite gently and having lions in your home seems like a do-able option. At first the little critters are simply knocking drinks over, or climbing on the furniture.... That kind of thing.But in no time at at they are bigger, and start gnashing things, giving visitors the evil eye and defecating in inappropriate places. Sounds familiar! Then comes the full- blown zoo-at-home, when the wee darlings are getting not just Big for their pussy-cat boots, but completely taking over the gaffe and acting like the Rolling Stones at Villa Nellcote.
And when Joy finally, after patiently enduring the destruction of her house, says something like "Oh George, why don't we move them out of the house?" I find myself thinking "Dammit that woman is a GENIUS!".
George sets to work building a new door frame complete with heavy-duty lion-proof mesh to keep the feline hooligans out. I am mentally taking notes.
And good old Joy resists sending them to the zoo at every turn. Everyone tells her she is nuts. That these lions belong in a zoo, not in the wild. Is she crazy? Hell yeah!
And then comes all the trialling and erroring of getting them to successfully mate, and not get shot, or eaten by other baddie lions, and not die in the wilderness when released. The worry and stress of it all!!!
I have all that ahead of me. But for now, I am measuring up the door frames and eyeing up the garden, wondering if they could fend for themselves .... Pete thinks they are definitely old enough, but I dunno.... Alf is only 2..... But I am tempted.....
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