Why so quiet, you ask?
I haven't been able to express myself in words just lately, nor have I wanted to.
And now I understand why!
I hit a big flashing light realization just recently whilst having a conversation about spirituality.
The lady I was chatting with was a Reiki master, and she was talking about how we throw words up in front of us to try and project who we are and what we mean to say, and how our true essence is behind the veil of words. It rang so true and helped explain something I've been feeling for a while but wasn't able to find the words for!.
As a writer, I have become a mistress of words, weaving them this way and that, using them to help me to distill feelings, thoughts and experiences. Making the illogical logical, the irrational, rational. Making neat and tidy things which are wild and spill out over the lines.
I've been trying to make sense of the mysteries of life with words. But I realise how inadequate this is!
We simply cannot express everything with words, nor understand everything using words or explain them using words. Some things cannot be explained.
Some things are meant to be a mystery.They are meant to be illogical. They are meant to be elusive.
For they are bigger than us.
Words are from the head.
And just lately, my heart has really taken over doing all the thinking around here. I am feeling and processing from a different place.
Words are guff!
They are black and white, not multicoloured. They don't even touch the ultra violet colours on the spectrum!
So please excuse the silence, but don't take it as anything bad - I am simply feeling life with my heart right now and swimming around in the enjoyment of not writing, not trying to distill things, not trying to pin down shadows, not trying to catch butterflies.
Simply breathing, feeling, enjoying, tasting, loving, smelling, and living life to the full.
Are you feeling life with your heart, or has your head taken over?
Give your head a holiday and just feel.
" The quieter you become the more able you are to hear "
- Rumi
Can you hear it? Can you feel life?
Isn't it just fucking beautiful?
Sometimes words get in the way of the truth. Love you missus xx
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's more that words alone can be woefully inadequate...and sometimes they can be more powerful unsaid or when accompanied by music, or art etc... to really make them come to life and dance! xxx
ReplyDeleteLovely post. Could really relate! I always find that when my writing gets sticky or tricky it's often because I'm writing for the wrong reasons and not writing from the heart. And it takes that stillness to find the words we need! x
ReplyDeletePerhaps you're right Ross....it just feels more rewarding to be quiet and absorb others wisdom for a while...a retreat from writing so that what emerges is truly beautiful and authentic and reflects how I really feel....not just how I feel that week!!! (Although that is authentic in THAT moment too!) x
ReplyDeleteI'm in a general fog at the moment, more stillness would be lovely ... I try and make room for stillness and mindfullness as often as possible, not always possible tho! I too have lost a bit of writing mojo, lost a bit of life mojo actually, possibly ... a few precious practises have fallen by the way like journalling too which needs no artistry just flow. Looking around for inspiration ... having to trust it will all come at the right time and that this foggy phase has a purpose too. Love to you X X X
ReplyDeleteSorry you're feeling like that, mama. It's been an odd non- summer...maybe that's part of it? My own feelings are perhaps slightly different. I feel a sense of trust in the universe that I didn't before.... I am in awe of the mysteries.... I respect them more. I feel a sense of enjoyment and playfulness even, about life that I hadn't been feeling for a while. So being stiller and quieter is a happy thing :-) Sending you lots of love Rose - all will be well I'm sure - life is a miracle and every day is a gift, never forget that lovely xxx
ReplyDeleteHey thats lovely to read!
ReplyDeleteVery similar to me... though I hadn't managed to put it into words (ha haa!!)
Changing to a new blog was about changing my tone... using the blog to celebrate - perhaps to throw new light on life where words had tangled themselves no matter how hard I try to pin thoughts and experiences down.
Still working on it, and like you, perhaps silence and Feeling are the way forwards for now.
Love to you
Ali x
I hear you Ali....once you have such a large body of thoughts and feelings they can start to feel like a tie - even if you've since moved on in real life, those snapshot moments can start to feel like they define everything about us, or the day they were written, or an event or whatever which of course, they never do..... they are just that....a snapshot.... a glimpse.... one angle....whereas relity is more technicoloured and gritty and glittery and joy-filled and frustrating and ecstatic.... this is what I mean about words being SO inadequate!!! xxx
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