tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954736734810179748.post7251878404107838418..comments2023-03-24T14:12:43.183+00:00Comments on Feet on the ground and head in the clouds: Peace, love, faith and healingMotherfunkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10809370449833738968noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954736734810179748.post-86401721237271564202012-02-17T08:36:22.152+00:002012-02-17T08:36:22.152+00:00God help me when I write the book CJ.. It seems li...God help me when I write the book CJ.. It seems like such an arrogant thing to do in some ways but then I stand in a bookshop surrounded by thousands of books, and think a) these books didn't write themselves b) it takes balls to write anything at all c) there's always room for one more book, one more angle, one more perspective. You can never say that's it, the world no longer needs any books on x topic, we're all done with that now.<br />Every interaction, conversation, and assumption challenged is good practise for the book. Writing about birth on here has been a really helpful exercise in thinking about wording and trying not to alienate people.Motherfunkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10809370449833738968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954736734810179748.post-13728595768929352432012-02-17T02:56:23.363+00:002012-02-17T02:56:23.363+00:00Hey. Two separate things.
One: what the first comm...Hey. Two separate things.<br />One: what the first commenter said-- writing, especially blogging, can make it hard to convey your actual openness. You know I sympathize on that front.<br />Two: of all the dangerous mothering subjects, birthing is perhaps the most emotionally explosive. Maybe because its so huge, a very real rite of passage. you don't get to practice to perfection. It's just the one shot (per baby). And our hearts are so tied up in it!<br />I am a twice homebirther who would describe my own as nothing short of the hardest most excruciatingly painful work human beings are capable of. I loved drugless homebirths in the sense that I feel lucky to have gotten the opportunity to do it, twice! But not in the sense I so often read of the mystical beautiful candlelit experience. I fear that the pro-natural crowd has gone so far that women can feel equally powerless and ashamed when their birth is anything less glowy than the "plan." I myself came a whisper-width from having to go to the hospital the first time, and my god the feelings that my body had failed me over the three days of contractions leading up, and that I might yet "fail" altogether was mortifying. <br />If I had gotten "transferred" all that hospital fear propaganda that midwifery uses to defend itself against the homebirth fear propaganda would not have served me well. <br />This is such a tragedy! Its not just birthing either, its everything. We are so success vs failure, Us bs The, and you'd better get in the right line. I don't have much advice for how to approach this booby trapped subject. I have been trying to summon the courage for a co-sleeping post ever since I started blogging, but just can't figure how to write it in a way that doesn't turn half the readers into failures, responsible for all their children's future problems. <br />It's damn tricky, but someone has to keep those waters open. <br />Good on ya for effort.Calamity Janehttp://apronstringz.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954736734810179748.post-53923007413105145782012-02-16T17:32:29.969+00:002012-02-16T17:32:29.969+00:00Thanks everybody, I just wanted to be clear for an...Thanks everybody, I just wanted to be clear for any future readers of the blog, so everyone knows where I'm coming from, that I don't think anyone is bad or wrong ;-) all you ladies are kick-ass motherfunkers and I love you lots xxxxxMotherfunkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10809370449833738968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954736734810179748.post-61668871225661966392012-02-16T16:38:40.704+00:002012-02-16T16:38:40.704+00:00Hey Paula,
Exactly!
I do not think that you are j...Hey Paula,<br />Exactly!<br />I do not think that you are judgmental either.<br />I certainly do not think that you write your blog to hurt people or make others feel bad.<br /><br />I agree language can be more ambiguous than it claims to be.<br />That was kinda part of my point.<br />It is a very complex and controversial subject from many angles i feel.<br />As you know I live in Brighton where the alternative decision/way of life has come to be somewhat expected by larger circles than the norm- i think i'm safe to say.<br />That has caused a weird knock on affect whereby admitting to thinking 'institutions are ok!' 'i might take drugs during my labour' or ' i may throw away my placenta' is like saying you only shop at Asda.<br />I was in a round about way (be it slightly feisty) trying to promote open-mindedness.<br />As we've already talked about, when I decided to have a home birth with my first I got so obsessed with it and how I would be violated in hospital and wouldn’t be listened to and would end up shaven with my legs in stirrups that I know I would have freaked if I had to go into hospital during labour. This mental state would have made the experience so hideous even if they were lovely and did everything that I wanted them to. So this time I’m so much more relaxed and open-minded about it (believe it or not!!) and just hope that I can experience the best that I can in the circumstances. I would hate for any woman to feel disappointed about where or how they gave birth even if going into hospital was just precaution.<br />I still haven't decided where my bun in the oven will burst its way into the world yet- who knows!<br />Aaaanyway think that's what i wanted to say in a concise way!<br />Keep up the thought-provoking work.<br />With love.Saranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954736734810179748.post-48689654967431992322012-02-16T11:44:57.975+00:002012-02-16T11:44:57.975+00:00Can I just say that as a mother of three babies w...Can I just say that as a mother of three babies which have been born in a very clinical environment with me laying on my back because I didn't know any other way, I found the blog really eye opening and totally awesome, which was my original comment. I feel encouraged, now I'm in pregnancy number four, to discover more about the whole birthing experience and am totally aiming to go for a home-birth.... All being well.... Which I probably wouldn't have even thought about had I not had the privilege of knowing wonderful people like you. you are a true inspiration to me, in many ways, and I'm very proud to call you my friend. Keep up the great blogs lovely xxxxxxxStylesdawnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954736734810179748.post-13529222348600370192012-02-16T10:09:35.184+00:002012-02-16T10:09:35.184+00:00Hey! I don't buy into the whole thing about wh...Hey! I don't buy into the whole thing about what makes a good piece of writing any more than what makes a good piece of art or a good bottle of wine. I thoroughly enjoying your writing and it stimulates much to consider and personally feel you are very gifted. <br /><br />I don't think you were judgemental and my own comments were merely personal experience and the freak thing was me laughing at myself and the crazy odds of my own situation.<br /><br />Jane is right, words can read very differently without the use of real life tone, eye contact, facial expressions. <br /><br />I think you are consistently sharing from the heart and throwing out your own positive thoughts to give confidence to others. <br /><br />Life ain't black and white it's full of grey areas and we could spend all day everyday debating over what is right and what is not and with our honesty there will always be controversy.<br /><br />Keep blogging - its brill! xxxxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954736734810179748.post-48678515812571118372012-02-16T09:25:31.253+00:002012-02-16T09:25:31.253+00:00I totally agree with Jane. I thought it was a grea...I totally agree with Jane. I thought it was a great post - I'm a big fan of the MF Rant, you make me think and laugh in equal measure, superb! <br /><br />(I'm coming back to comment on pain management when I get a chance.) xMadameSultanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09710770856829722764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954736734810179748.post-64735885374693041152012-02-16T09:15:56.073+00:002012-02-16T09:15:56.073+00:00hey babe your writing is wonderful thought provoki...hey babe your writing is wonderful thought provoking and make me feel normal so you cant be doing too bad.<br /><br />your peace love and thoughts make me feel very loved and happy <br />keep up the good work<br /><br />Love you <br />Kirstenkirsten Millinsonhttp://mummymilly.co.uknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8954736734810179748.post-47329313969695016152012-02-16T08:30:58.053+00:002012-02-16T08:30:58.053+00:00Hey Paula. Chin up love! I didn't think you ca...Hey Paula. Chin up love! I didn't think you came across as judgemental, but maybe that's because I know you in real life.<br /><br />The thing about words on a page, as we all know, is that they are stripped of the tone and body language that go hand in hand with them to put across our meaning. They are just sitting there, stark and bare, ready to be assigned new emphasis and expression by the reader. And I don't blame the reader either as they are usually quite genuine in the way they take the words - I've done it myself!<br /><br />When you start writing for the public you open yourself up and it's a brave thing to do.<br /><br />You're writing powerful stuff, that makes us think and has us challenging our preconceptions. It's great, keep going! I'm not half as brave in my blog, haven't written anything vaguely controversial. It's in me, I'm just not confident enough. Yet. Celebrate the fact that you are!Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12921079511239804720noreply@blogger.com